Unsolicited Dick Pic Rejection Wiki

Dear —:
No thank you for your interest, and for taking the time to send us your dick pic. After cursory review, we have decided the submission isn’t a good fit for us at this time.
We wish you the best of luck placing your dick elsewhere.

Higher Tier
Dear —:
No thank you for submitting your dick pic. Though we sometimes delight in dissecting pictures of both established and emerging dicks with our staff, unsolicited submissions are never welcome here. We do NOT encourage you to keep us in mind for the future.

Higher Tier, “Personal”
Dear —:
We wanted to say “no thanks” for sending your dick pic our way. However, we found it intriguing and circulated it among the staff, who all studied it with interest. Ultimately, we felt a bit embarrassed about the obvious work you put into this, and it’s not enough for us to hold on. Sorry to disappoint, and all best. (To be clear, we are absolutely not interested in seeing more of your submissions.)

In honor of the Literary Rejection Wiki

What Perfume Is,

Perfume is Semester Abroad Syndrome (when your friend kisses everyone on both cheeks to say hello now that she is back from Europe).