I created an alter ego named Ajax, he’s named after
an asshole from the Iliad who killed himself
over not getting famous. He’s the Cowardly Lion
of the epic and I’m a Leo which makes me
the Cowardly Ajax, it makes sense

when I walk around with a Swiss army knife
as though if mugged I’d open it and say
hold on, that’s the screwdriver, I know
it’s in here, those are the tweezers, I’ll
tweeze your eyeballs out if you wait a second.

To be fair, my roar is a lion’s.
My head is round and golden on good days,
and I wag my tail but never as a dog’s
between the legs, and I’ve doubled up my human legs;
I use one pair to go backward.