Rowdy Geirsson is author of The Scandinavian Aggressors and the editor of Norse Mythology for Bostonians: A Transcription of the Impudent Edda. His writing has appeared in the American Scandinavian Foundation's Scandinavian Review and the Sons of Norway's Viking Magazine. He also writes McSweeney's longest-running humor column.

WIT TEA

I THINK THAT MY ICELANDIC MILK-THIEVING MONSTER MIGHT BE MALFUNCTIONING

By ROWDY GEIRSSON

The thigh suckling stage was supposed to be short.