and for a long time I thought I’d write her a letter and she’d donate her 24-karat gold wheelchair to me for my stiff joints but today I’m finding out that Gaga doesn’t even have lupus she has synovitis and it’s actually Toni Braxton who has lupus and in 2008 she collapsed on stage in Vegas and I’m like how did I miss this Toni is my girl I remember all them car rides when my mother played the hell out of Toni’s debut album in 93’ I was only 13 and singing them love songs as if I knew what my mama was going through and if somebody made a bet with me today to try and figure out which song from that album was my mother’s favorite I’d put everything I have on “Love Shoulda Brought You Home” and now I’m spending most of my time tryna place a face to the you my mama coulda been singing to cuz in 93’ she’d already split from my daddy and I just can’t picture him cheating and that being the real reason she filed for divorce
i am descendant from women who greet death like brunch. /
i do not know if this is bravery or foolishness.
Light / traipses through water and water / envelopes my mother’s hands. / How her hands have torqued / my dark body—a kind of light / I’ve never understood
and this was our true life together: / your discontent registering forever / upon the maternal sea