This is the Glory Prelude
to a widow shrine system
I was raised to be forever convinced that Glory
was the prelude to everything
It worked
though I don’t mean the same thing by Glory that my mother did, that
my mother does.
Both of us acknowledge violence: God’s mysterious prerogative for her
and for me: some atom smashing convention-corrupting black holes
where bibles converge in a singularity with everything else:
a massive black hellhole
may be at the center of every galaxy
The household galaxy on Durkee where everyday she calls on Glory, her partner since the death of my father in 1980: a glory of bibles piled beside her on my father’s side of the bed
as weighted now as ever
King james version of him pressing into the pillow, printed paper hair with red Jesus streak stains on satin
On our walks in the opposite direction of the Baptists and the Black
Muslims,
my father and I stopped to look at every spider web full of windows
made by sticky framework
through which I saw a squeeze of Baby Flo’s 800 pounds in a tent
that was her body’s own revival, suspiciously like the tent my mother
took me to
to be saved
without a carnival like this on the horizon
moved behind a veil-like framework
that used to cover faces at funerals
so that looking at grieving women, looking at my mother
was to see them, was to see her in a subdivided Baby Flo of confessionals
— what else am I to make of the framework of bars around her house
She has sealed herself in a widow shrine system
of unchanging love for my father
the glory of which is the perfection of the seal, perfection of the ceiling
My father of wood, chandelier, and bibles continues
to be responsible for my mother to whom he is still connected
Roots of a tree he planted when I was born raise cement squares
of pregnant sidewalk
His grave is a church, her god is my father’s righteous proxy
in a neighborhood nothing like the glory that defined it when my father
bought the house
but as she puts it now, room after room of glory prelude, doors in and
out of only
such prelude
to leave that house would break the connection, place her out of sync with the glory
she builds with the remnants of what she had and still has with daily rebuilding,
avoiding a lightness that could be hers as holes form
as it all turns to remnants. Instead
it gains weight, means more, makes me remember every Saturday built
with Spring by Birdlegs and Pauline, Forget About Me by Prince Harold,
and I Want to Thank You Pretty Baby by Brook Benton
for the sound of glory days of my childhood
that had more than one glossy widow shrine note
If only I hadn’t played for her Amazing Grace on my toy piano
when I was six and as proud as the day I got up and walked
even more impressively than Lazarus when he got up;
I had never walked before.
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“The Glory Prelude” © 2015 by Thylias Moss, is published by permission of the author.
“The Glory Prelude (to a Widow Shrine System)” is also available as a video poam, with music composed and performed by Ansted Moss. The video will be part of the “You Here Now” exhibit in the spring of 2016 at the Pulitzer Arts Foundation in St. Louis, Mo.