To be a violinist means to obey
and I followed instructions like stepping into
the sun. Rosined my edges. Tore and blunted and bled.
Only practiced on the days that I ate.
Everyone before me traded dreams for survival.
Seamstresses and housekeepers. I inherited
their desire, still in its shrink wrap. I was
so lucky. I got to be great. Couldn’t hold it
for long. Don’t play anymore these days.
Fingers ache when it’s cold. New skin covers
my calluses, stretched like deerhide over a hollow
drum. Tell me I’m good.
