Johnathan Harper would like to apologize for making the title of this story a bad pun. His chapbooks The Monster on the Mountain and Sure-as-trees can be found at Paper Nautilus Press and Lover Books, respectively. He edits the magazine Birds Piled Loosely.

FICTION

Or a Boris

By JOHNATHAN HARPER

“A man lumbers into a wood chipper,” is the headline stoking the fire of the local news.