Eli Burnstein is a Canadian humor writer. His work has appeared in The New Yorker, McSweeney's, Points in Case, Slackjaw, and The Offing. He also runs a spelling bee. Instagram: @eatpraylovestein

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WIT TEA

Blank and Blankability

By ELI BURNSTEIN

For it was, needless to say, a time of great f———— in the nation