Cassidy Cummings Cassidy Cummings is an American humor writer living in Bristol, England. Her work has appeared in Reductress and The American Bystander. She is currently studying for an MA in screenwriting. VISIT WWW.LANGUIDSLUG.COM WIT TEA Please Disregard the Unfortunate Events That Preceded my Water Jet Pack Incident By CASSIDY CUMMINGS There’s a learning curve for everything, including hydroflight. My learning curve happened to involve squealing like a pig in grave distress.