a black nerd’s poisson processing

give three examples of poisson statistics, random in space or time:
consecutive buses arriving at a station,

the death of my people,
statistical noise, or the sound of rain.

no more nba finals, my summers begin
with a sibling’s name in hashtag and attached sensations:

a gnawing hole in my stomach as a killing becomes a spectacle,
the heaviness of breath, other people’s rage.

rain taps its fingers on my neck. i know antiblackness
is ubiquitous like the weather and the water.

my people die like a poisson process. i listen to the rain count bodies
while the thunder weeps with me.

i wallow in anxiety for my father in our rural hometown. forgive my youth,
it stings as the monsoon washes it away

with other respectable myths. rain renders death random.
if it’s not the white man, it’s the lightning.

monoxide. pneumonia. a speeding car on an interstate.
the sunrises of my people are coin flips. an experiment:

take away the signal noise. antiblackness is still
the silence that remains. see how it clings

like a wet white t-shirt?

quantum distributions for Sarah Baartman

why must they demand black bodies self-sacrifice in ultraviolet? that is, why must we give all of us to them until we have nothing left?

Two Poems

my mentor said once a poem can be whatever you want it to be. / so i bury the poem in the river & the body in the fire.